Depressing update

01 August 2017
Alright, it has been a while. Like almost half a year, things have been rough. The good news is, I’m trying to start work on my game again. I managed to open up Unity and Visual Studio and look around the code and start to get familiar with it again. It’s slow, but it’s a start. I do have a job now, so I can’t work on it every day like I was a while ago, but if I can start making progress again, I’ll be happy.

So I guess things are going to get personal now. Things have been really stressful and depressing. Like I said, I did get a job, but it’s at KFC. Bit of a step down from my last job, but it pays the bills. I just couldn’t find a job in my field, so right now I’m going to stay at KFC for a year or two while working on coding projects on the side. Then I’ll try to get back into dev work. I might stay at KFC longer if I get my own store, you get a percent of the profit as a general manager.

The first few months of work were pretty rough. First of all I wasn’t used to doing physical labor of really any kind. The next problem was right after my first week or two people started quitting, so I spent a lot of time working like 40-65 hours a week. I was just tired whenever I was home and needed to relax and chill out.

Just a bit ago I got promoted to the assistant manager of the store. So that’s cool. Right now I’m working 50ish hours a week, but I get two days off a week and I get to see my kid on one of those days. I guess talking about my kid is a good segway into the next thing, I’m getting a divorce. Honestly, I was pretty torn up about it. Just one day my wife said she was done then a few days later when I saw her, she was pretty cold towards me.

I guess I can’t fault her for it, she did what she thought was best for her and our son. But I was at a pretty low point in my life and then that just made things that much worse. I still miss her, it has been around 3 or 4 months since it has happened. What’s worse is I have to see her every week when I get my son.

We were together for 6 or 7 years, basically our whole adult life, and now it’s over. Right now we are still married, she is saving up money to file for it, so I could get served the papers at any point now.

While things have been pretty rough, I think I’ve been dealing with things pretty good. I’ve stayed on my medication, now only have I held onto my job, but I’ve got a promotion, and now I’m trying to get back into working on my video game. I’ve been pretty hard on myself though. Like telling myself, why did you keep messing up, or stop being lazy and start doing stuff. I don’t know, I guess I need to be more positive. I talked with my roommate the other day, and he things I’ve been making good progress to get my life back together.

Really the only thing I can do is keep moving forward. I still have my son in my life, and once I get a bit more stable I want to try to have him every other week, for the whole week, instead of once a day a week. I have three plans, hopefully one of them works out. I could stay at KFC and get promoted to a General Manager, I could go back to dev work after a year or two, or I could finish my game and it takes off.

Right now I’m just going to try to focus on my game in my free time. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it will keep my coding skills sharp. If it flops, I’ll keep coding, maybe another game, or maybe some fun open source projects. I guess I’ll see where life takes me.

If you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading about my problems. Hopefully in a few days I’ll have an update about some work I’ve managed to do on my game. Till then, hope you have a good day.